Guess what? I'm still fat!

Last time I mentioned that Strange Little Man, Monster, and myself were all sick. I drug all of our butts to the doctor on Tuesday. We learned that we all have bronchitis. Also, the doctor told us we each have an additional condition on top of it:


Strange Little Man has sinusitis.

Monster has the beginnings of an ear infection.

I'm still fat.

Yeah, I did a double take, too.

Ok, maybe I didn't do a double take. I mean, I KNOW I'm fat. What bothers me is that, for some reason, the doctor seems to expect me to magically drop the 80 or so pounds in two weeks since I've seen him. Hey, I'd love to lose 40 pounds in a week, but I'm not sure that's a good idea. In truth, even with being sick, I had lost 3 pounds. While, no, it's not spectacular, it's pretty darn good considering I don't diet when I'm sick. It just leads to me sitting on the couch watching Netflix and binging on a tub of Betty Crocker chocolate icing at 11:30 at night because my bitchy white ass craves chocolate.

 

The doctor even gave me a plate that measures food for you, so I can "control my portions," then asks "Have you ever TRIED counting calories?" I wanted to bitch slap him, and ask him how he thought I lost 40 pounds before. Instead, I maintained my cool (I hope), and mentioned that I had in the past, with some success.

All this got me to realize that while, yes, I have come a long way in my weight loss journey, I have a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...oooooooooooooooong way to go! In my first post on this blog, I made a short list of some things I would like to accomplish this year. #2 was to learn to love my body the way it is, and I feel like I have started to get there. I have bought some day dresses that I like and wear often. I've been getting more complements on my appearance lately, and it has helped my self confidence as well. I lost a very important part of myself, which included my self confidence, somewhere along the way, and am working to get it back.

Which takes me to #3 on my list: Work on becoming a healthier me. As a start, I quit caffeinated drinks two day ago. The withdrawals are tough. I am reminded every time I quit just how much of a drug caffeine really is. I get the shakes and moody when I quit. Also, I always have migraines for a few days after my last soda. Today it feels like my head is a battlefield.

 

Yes, I just re-used the brain picture.

You may ask why I am quitting caffeine. If you're not asking, scroll down until you find something interesting. I am quitting because I am going to go back on my old friend, the diet pill, Healthe Trim. Caffeine basically negates the effectiveness of it somehow. But long story short, this stuff is great! It helps control my appetite and gives me enough energy to jump out of bed in the morning and tackle the day, including 5 am workouts!  Plus, it's all natural!

So, the plan is as follows:
     1) Kick bronchitis's ass.
     2) Start Healthe Trim.
     3) Work on "controlling my portions" and counting calories.
     4) Get back to working out almost every day.
     5) Shock the hell out of the doctor when I see him in two months.

In order to keep myself honest, I think I am going to write about my experience. Don't worry, I won't bore you with all the details here. I think I will start ANOTHER blog to document all the details (ambitious, I know), and try to keep this side interesting, lighthearted, and fun!


While we're talking about my list of thinks I want to accomplish this year, I have not figured out #1 yet. #1 is "Figure out why I suddenly have a loathing hatred for Taylor Swift." I used to like her and her music. Now I have to change the station or skip through iTunes until it quits playing her. I thought I would leave you with a picture of her without makeup to make myself happier:

It didn't work. It makes me hate her more.


However, this picture of Kristen Stewart (she plays Bella in the Twilight Movies) without makeup does make me happy:

Her skinny ass pisses me off, too. I do wonder what kind of day she's having to wear that expression. It makes me wonder if I should feel sorry for her. Then I think of her bad-acting anorexic behind and I don't care anymore.

Why, yes, I am a cold-hearted bitch. Thanks for noticing!